Q: What’s the NitWitty Review Policy?

A: First, we will not review anything that advertises for us. There’s a thing about journalistic integrity, and while the rest of the site is filled with snark, the trust of our readers is something we take very seriously.

Second, for large releases it is our intention to always have multiple viewpoints for a review, which means that we put at least 2 sets of eyes on most things that carry the “Review” label. The angle of those reviews might be different (a spoiler and non-spoiler version for example), but in the end it’s designed to give reasoned critique. Other reviews tend to be collaborative.

Finally, we don’t issue scores that mean anything. Don’t bother trying to find some kind of math to normalize anything. We treat our reviews as intellectual critiques, speaking about whatever it is in terms of genre, critical analysis in the context of the media it’s in, and in the cultural zeitgeist as a whole. In short, we review things because they deserve attention and there’s something interesting to say, not to tell you if it’s worth buying or not. 

Q: Did you change the website?

A: Oh how nice of you to notice. Yes. Yes we did. We want to look nice when you take us out and introduce us to all of your friends.

Q: What are you all doing exactly?

A: Right now we’re luxuriating in a rum and pineapple based hangover and reading Absolom, Absolom by William Faulkner. Broadly speaking, we’re making it up as we go.

Q: The smartest idiots you know? What is that all about?

A: Well, we are. We could claim something different but we believe in truth in advertising.

Q: Why isn’t there more content?

A: Unlike most of the internet, we prefer “quality” to “quantity.” Although to be honest if we wrote more it would cut into the time allotted for that “High Life” the TV keep promising us.

Q: How do I give you money?

A: Take the bills (coins work too), say the words, “Miracles can happen!” and then throw the cash directly at your screen right here :

—–>   X

If the cash bounced off, you clearly don’t love us enough.

Since that method is still in beta, just go buy yourself something nice : Amazon.com

Q: Why do you have a stupid FAQ?

A: The real question you should be asking is, “Why doesn’t everybody else have one too?”

Q: I think you thefted my art.

A: If we did, it probably wasn’t intentional. If you’re a big company, too bad it’s fair use for review. If we hijacked your personal artwork please let us know and we’ll attribute it to you.

Q: What’s the deal with the different color links?

A: Well, the regular colored links that look like this : LINK! These are just hyperlinks to extra content but are just as frequently jokes. They’re by default SFW so click away. The green colored links are to merch and they look like this: LINK! If you click on those, like what you see and buy something, it helps us keep the lights on.

We make them different colors on purpose since we want to be honest about what you’re clicking. It’s part of that “journalistic integrity” thing we keep hearing about.